From Groucho to Gervais - this is the ultimate collection of over 1,000 of the world's funniest jokes, one-liners and zingers from stand-up, film and television. This book is filled with the funniest quotes from the greatest comedians, actors and actresses ever to walk the Earth. "Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people only once a year." (Victor Borge). "When you have a fat friend, there are no see-saws; only catapults." (Demetri Martin). "Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids." (Homer Simpson). "Old McDonald was dyslexic, E-O-I-O-E" (Billy Connolly). "A man in the house is worth two in the street." (Mae West).