Mar 26th 2019, 05:16

Our emotions are very powerful things. On any given day we will feel a wide range of emotions from embarrassment to unabashed joy. Appropriately, we desire to feel joy more often than embarrassment, however, emotions such as embarrassment, guilt, and feelings of inadequacies still infiltrate our lives.
While many people believe that Shame is a singular emotion, however, several emotions can be classified as being in the shame family. In this book, Dr. Joseph Burgo will highlight the differences between destructive, toxic shame and beneficial shame that helps to build character and self-esteem.
We always try to avoid shame. It makes us uncomfortable and sad. Dr. Burgo launches his book by describing the differences between shame and SHAME; shame that’s hurtful and shame that is helpful. I found this section of the book to be a pretty basic introduction to help readers approach the book by wading in. I was not surprised to read that embarrassment and guilt are a part of the shame family. Nor was I surprised that when we feel these emotions we exhibit outward signs that mirror each other, thereby linking these emotions.
Dr. Burgo than proceeds to explain different forms of shame and how some may be beneficial while others may be destructive. He also uses case studies to further his point and to allow his readers to connect to his argument.
I found this book to be unlike other books that I generally read. At times I found myself lacking interest in what he was saying, and the repetitive nature somewhat irksome. At other times is was extremely intriguing. Because of these differing thoughts, I gave this novel five out of ten stars. I would recommend this novel to anyone who is seeking ways to improve their self-esteem.
I received my copy of this novel from Books Etc. For the sole purpose of providing an honest review and the image above is my own.

Mar 26th 2019, 05:15

Our emotions are very powerful things. On any given day we will feel a wide range of emotions from embarrassment to unabashed joy. Appropriately, we desire to feel joy more often than embarrassment, however, emotions such as embarrassment, guilt, and feelings of inadequacies still infiltrate our lives.
While many people believe that Shame is a singular emotion, however, several emotions can be classified as being in the shame family. In this book, Dr. Joseph Burgo will highlight the differences between destructive, toxic shame and beneficial shame that helps to build character and self-esteem.
We always try to avoid shame. It makes us uncomfortable and sad. Dr. Burgo launches his book by describing the differences between shame and SHAME; shame that’s hurtful and shame that is helpful. I found this section of the book to be a pretty basic introduction to help readers approach the book by wading in. I was not surprised to read that embarrassment and guilt are a part of the shame family. Nor was I surprised that when we feel these emotions we exhibit outward signs that mirror each other, thereby linking these emotions.
Dr. Burgo than proceeds to explain different forms of shame and how some may be beneficial while others may be destructive. He also uses case studies to further his point and to allow his readers to connect to his argument.
I found this book to be unlike other books that I generally read. At times I found myself lacking interest in what he was saying, and the repetitive nature somewhat irksome. At other times is was extremely intriguing. Because of these differing thoughts, I gave this novel five out of ten stars. I would recommend this novel to anyone who is seeking ways to improve their self-esteem.
I received my copy of this novel from Books Etc. For the sole purpose of providing an honest review and the image above is my own.

Feb 4th 2019, 13:14

So what do we think of when we consider the word shame? It's negative right? We bandy around phrases such as "Shame on you!" or "What a shame" when things go wrong or disappoint us.
In this book we consider the causes of shame those "familiar situations that typically arouse one or more of the emotions in the shame family - self consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation and guilt".
The book looks at a number of case studies which can all be linked to a core feeling of shame. When reading these stories you can't help but think of Philip Larkin's famous quote "They F*** You Up Your Mum and Dad". Even as babies we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way to elicit love and positive response from our parents. Once we are toddlers this unending adoration has to be tempered with a slight withdrawal so we start to learn about appropriate behaviour.
What happens though if your parents are so self absorbed that they barely notice you or if you suffer from physical/mental abuse as a child? In all likelihood you will feel an inbuilt sense of shame.
On a lesser level though we all experience shame at varying degrees. Who hasn't declared their love to find it's unreciprocated or had an unfortunate case of wind at an inappropriate time? The key is in how we react to these events.
As summarised by the author "shame and self esteem are not opposites. For some of us realistic growth toward pride depends upon respecting the limitations imposed by core shame; for everyone it means listening to and learning from shame when it says we have disappointed our healthy expectation for the person we'd like to be"
I'm not personally lacking in self esteem or shrouded by shame but can appreciate the no nonsense approach in this book. There are a number of exercises which encourage the readers to examine past events, their reactions and others' feelings when thinking of "shameful" events. It has a gentle, non judgemental tone to it and is very readable.
For anyone who has got issues related to these kind of feelings it would be a shame to miss it!